Metaphysics. Metafiction. Multiplicity. Or, in plainer terms, ripping good yarns, high concepts, food for thought.
This short story collection spins Borges-inspired pastiches into fictions rooted in the enigmatic land of Egypt.
Why Egypt?
a) It’s the most Borgesian place on Earth—eternity, circular time, labyrinths, the unknowable. It’s as if they built the country as a tribute to the Argentinian master.
b) It’s my favourite country.
Mostly b). I’ve been bewitched by its spirit ever since my first visit, ages ago.
These 62 tales spring from that obsession. A few glimpses:
- An archaeological dig unearths a secret best left buried.
- An ultra-secret society so hidden it might not even exist.
- A collector hunts a bizarre painting tied to a deadly, riotous debut.
- A man aims to buy the world, one item at a time.
- A magical quill lets a savant glimpse alternate Earths and their twisted histories.
- An Egyptian President returns from a remote resort…changed. (Djinn possession? Maybe.)
- A strange affliction turns emotional scars into vanishing body parts.
- The detailed chronicle the world has awaited with bated breath: The Secret History of Camels.
See what the following authors most definitely did not say (now or when they were alive) after being supplied with an advance copy.
To all the relevant estates: The dictionary defines the word parody, noun, as: ‘an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect.’
(For our purposes: I showed the collection to my LitBot 2000 [in various author modes] and it responded thus.)
“Stark, unsettling visions. A secret order in Cairo, veiled beyond proof; a painting sparking savage ruin; a possible contagion erasing men bit by bit. Haunting parables for a world teetering on oblivion.”
~George Orwell
LEFT: My old mate George Orwell at the book’s Launch Party. He signed my copy of 1984 thus:
Congratulations on your new book, old chap—let’s hope it doesn’t inspire any pigs to start rewriting history, or we’ll all be back to doublethink by morning!
I thanked him profusely and told him to get a check-up after he had a coughing fit during my speech.
“The sublime and the grotesque. Fictions that whisper of transcendence, yet warn of the abyss beneath our brave new dreams.”
~Aldous Huxley
”Bleak, brilliant oddities. No comfort here, just the stark beauty of things falling apart, perfectly framed.”
~Philip Larkin
RIGHT: Aldous Huxley & Philip Larkin enjoying some complementary cheap champers at the Launch Party. A listening device taped to the bottom of Huxley’s glass recorded the following:
“Philip, in my Brave New World, at least people are too drugged on Soma to notice the misery you keep droning on about in your poems!”
“Aldous, your Soma sounds like a fine idea, but in Hull, we’d just run out of it by Monday and be back to grumbling about the weather—utopia’s no match for British bureaucracy!”
“In these pages, Egypt’s enigma dances with courage and cunning. Each story negotiates truth like a treaty, revealing shadows I’d have pondered at Camp David. A masterful blend of peace and provocation—my compliments to the scribe.”
Anwar Sadat
That swastika tie was a fashion faux pas
“Hoof it, these yarns are smoother than my finest smoke! From secret camel chronicles to Egypt’s wild mysteries, they’ve got more kick than a Saharan gallop. Light up this book—trust me, it’s a stroll-through-the-desert-day delight!”
Joe the Camel
Hump up the Volume!
“Lawrence of Arabia? Try Anton of Egypt: Like a desert mirage, these stories beguile and unsettle. They’re as layered as a hand of bridge or a glance across a Cairo café. Egypt’s heart beats here, and I’m enchanted—though I’d wager I could’ve starred in at least one tale.”
Omar Sharif
The epitome of Suave Egyptian charm
“My stone gaze has watched empires crumble, yet these tales stir even my granite heart. Egypt’s labyrinthine soul is carved here, as eternal as my colossi—though I confess, I’m miffed my reign inspired but a footnote. Still, a pharaoh approves.”
Rameses II
He’s seen better days
“By Isis, these stories are sharper than my asp! They weave Egypt’s magic with a wit that’d charm Caesar himself. I giggled, I gasped, I plotted—truly, a scroll-worthy romp. (P.S. My cartoon nose looks divine in Asterix, non?)”
Cleopatra
Such a pretty nose
“These tales pulse with Egypt’s spirit, her mysteries unbound by time. They dream as boldly as we did in ‘52, yet warn of secrets that elude even a revolutionary’s grasp. A collection to rally the mind—my kind of rebellion.”
Gamal Abdel Nasser
He may be a pinko but he’s our pinko!
Note: These testimonials are fictional/parodic homages to the writers/characters cited. They are not authored by the actual authors/their creators or the respective estates. No affiliation is implied.
